I was thinking about blogging about my two week escapade to New Mexico, but I realize that was spent with me mostly eating. Like, a lot. And what is so exciting about a peanut-butter and banana milk shake that I split with Kirby? (Oh, didn't realize the pun in that sentence....). Or actually finding sushi enjoyable for once? Or eating real authentic Mexican food, where the waiter actually asks "red or green"? Okay, okay, there was a little more than eating. There was my best friend Kirby studying her heart out for a Calculus exam and Padraig graciously watching movies or playing video games with me while he worked on his own online homework. It felt like bad timing, but I was happy all the same. I never realized how much I missed hanging out with those guys. I was actually at ease for once, and not anxiously trying to come up with things to talk about. And then even my week in Carlsbad.....Terry continued his ritual of showing me freaky anime and video games and Terence, a long lost friend who I thought had dropped off the face of the earth, actually agreed to see "Despicable Me" with Terry and me. For the first time in over a year, he actually spoke to me, and I could see that he still has that yearning for acting that could probably never be because of his leg. I was pleased I was able to see my friends again because it made me feel more at home than any location ever could. It revived my sense of things that were beginning to become dull while stuck in my apartment (no matter how much I love it) in Missoula.
And now for the real reason why I suddenly had the desire to post a new blog. This is opening up a huge part of family history, and for the first time, I actually feel kind of vulnerable writing this. I made an incredible discovery yesterday morning, all because I had a "whim" to do some genealogical digging. Some may or may not know that my dad had been married once before he met my mom. Between 1967-1970 when this marriage lasted, my dad had a daughter (who passed away in childbirth) and a son. Well, with all the messiness divorce brings and my dad about to start a new life with my mom, he allowed his ex-wife and new husband to have full custody of the boy. And as far as I know, no contact has been made between the two ever since. I came around in 1990, so much of this was "history," so much that I didn't find out until I was about 14. I was always a little bit curious about what happened to this lost half-brother I never met, nor had ever seen a picture of. I remember once I had a dream that I had an older brother my parents never told me about, and this was long before I ever knew I actually did have an older brother.
Every now and then when I was bored, I'd type his name into Facebook: Glenn Johnston. But of course, with Johnston being one of the most common names on the planet, hundreds of Glenn Johnstons would pop up. And I had no image in mind what he would even look like. Flash-forward yesterday Sunday morning. With nothing to do in the morning, I thought I'd do some genealogy work. I had done a little bit before on Ancestry.com (although the $12.25 a month usually deterred me from making it an actual hobby). I did a search on my dad and two marriage certificates popped up: one for my mom, and then another for this Carlis Digre. I remember seeing her name on a Johnston family tree once, and thinking, "What a different name." Okay, so now I was a little intrigued, although I was fully aware how strange it was that, without the Internet, I would find out nothing unless I called every hospital in the St. Paul, MN region. Nothing really is sacred. I did another search and found a birth and death certificate for Dawn Renee Johnston in 1967.
Whoa. I came in with little expectation of finding anything, and now I had found this. I tried again for Glenn, but still nothing came up. I knew he was sort of adopted by his step-father, so I figured he probably had a different last name now. But how the hell would I know what that is? Okay, this is where I come off as kind of stalker-ish. I can thank the crime/mystery novels I've been reading lately, especially ones about hacking into computers and digging up private information. I did a search for Carlis' marriage certificates and found the man she remarried: Voytilla. Again, shocked anything came up at all. Then a birth certificate for an Amy Voytilla. I kept searching for Glenn Voytilla, but my efforts were fruitless. I was so close, I didn't just want to give up. When I'm so close to solving a problem, I need to find a solution. I mean, this is another part of my family. A half-brother. Why should he remain a skeleton in the closet?
I turned to the #1 stalker tool on the Internet: Facebook. I ran a search for Amy Voytilla and clicked on the first name that came up. And just by chance, on the friend list on the left-hand side of the page, was a Glenn Johnston. My heart skipped a beat as I clicked on his name. Just by seeing that some of his friends had his mom's maiden name was a clear enough sign that it was him. And he even kind of looked like my dad: the blue eyes, the dark hair, the same lean face my dad had when he was younger. He was holding a little boy in the picture. It turns out he has two 5 year old sons: Brett and Matthew. Even weirder is that my brother is named Matthew. I was beyond flabbergasted; I was just about shaking. HOLY SHIT. I contemplated e-mailing him, but thought it better if I told my parents about it first. After all, it's a piece of my dad's life.
As of now, nothing has happened. I don't know whether or not he'll feel bitterness or joy if I contact him. I would just like a little bit of closure for my dad, and for Glenn too. The fact that he was indeed adopted by his step-father, and yet keeps Johnston as his last name, tells me that he might still feel something positive for the paternal side of his family.
It's all too strange, overwhelming, and joyful at the same time. I have a living half-brother, and I am also an aunt. It is indeed a small world over the Internet.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Play Time for the Weekend
So, this weekend I did something a little different then lazing around the house guiltily watching reruns of America's Next Top Model (a little fun game to play during the show: gay or European?). I signed up for a two-day workshop covering the topic of adaptation in the realm of plays and scripts. I first heard about it a week ago, and thought it might be somewhat valuable for me to attend seeing as summer school is beyond my means of affordability. This was an annual event put on by the Montana Actor's Theater, titled "Missoula Colony 15" (I'm gonna guess it's been going on for 15 years now). Anyway, it's a week long convention mainly targeted towards playwrights in Missoula and the surrounding area to meet and converse with some other bigwigs in the industry and maybe see one of their short plays produced. Since I heard about that last part later, I decided to attend the three seminar sessions about adaptation.
The first session consisted of a Q&A with some of the visiting playwrights (no names really jumped out to me, but then again, I don't carefully watch for that kind of stuff). They touched on some important things about adaptations which I've always felt should be considered when working with that particular medium: you don't have to transcribe every word and action from a literary work to the stage or screen as long as you capture the essence, or that special emotional connection fans have for the source material. And sometimes, simplicity is usually the way to go, particularly if you're trying to shrink a 500-page novel into a 120-page screenplay. They also talked about obtaining rights, and that if the author is dead, that's usually the best way to avoid any extraneous lawsuits. I could kind of follow them on copyrights, since Kirby and I had to arrange with our publishers to keep the copyright of "Shakespeare's Inferno."
With the afternoon session, we dived into an actual workshop. I was probably one of the younger ones there; at least three quarters of the group were over the age of 50 and the rest were grad students in the drama department. I was feeling kind of nervous that'd we have to write something on the spot (which really isn't my strong point), but instead we just talked about how a plot needs to be developed, how a character functions, etc. The assignment we were given was to come up with a three-page play based on a photograph (the picture shows an artist painting a portrait of a woman, titled "Bela in a Green Dress," but of course if you try to look up the artist on Google all you get is a bunch of Twilight crap), while also using some of Pablo Neruda's poetry in our first and last line. So I guess that's where the "adaptation" part of it came in. After we bounced off some ideas and named the figures in the photograph (Richard and Celeste), we all went home to work on our plays to read the following day.
My creative process was kind of interrupted when I found out a ride I thought I would get to Billings next week fell through, and I spent most of the time trying to make other arrangements. But in a way, I think that sort of helped. When I dived back into thinking about my play, I was able to get some viable ideas. Of course, the obvious route to take with this would be to create some tortured love story between the artist and the model. I sort of went in that direction, but in a more comedic fashion: why doesn't the portrait "talk" to the artist and beat him up about not expressing his love for the model? I immediately had this whole Monty Python sketch in my head (which I think is the mode I get into when writing dialogue for plays). So I wrote it and reworked it until around midnight. The next day, I was pretty pleased with what I wrote, even if the final product did suggest a bit of a caricature. Unfortunately though, I wasn't able to present it during the two hour reading session. We just ran out of time, and I wasn't the only one who couldn't present their play. So that's why I'm posting it here on my blog. Constructive feedback and praise is always welcomed of course, since I didn't get a chance to hear what others thought of it. It's titled Still Life. Enjoy!
The first session consisted of a Q&A with some of the visiting playwrights (no names really jumped out to me, but then again, I don't carefully watch for that kind of stuff). They touched on some important things about adaptations which I've always felt should be considered when working with that particular medium: you don't have to transcribe every word and action from a literary work to the stage or screen as long as you capture the essence, or that special emotional connection fans have for the source material. And sometimes, simplicity is usually the way to go, particularly if you're trying to shrink a 500-page novel into a 120-page screenplay. They also talked about obtaining rights, and that if the author is dead, that's usually the best way to avoid any extraneous lawsuits. I could kind of follow them on copyrights, since Kirby and I had to arrange with our publishers to keep the copyright of "Shakespeare's Inferno."
With the afternoon session, we dived into an actual workshop. I was probably one of the younger ones there; at least three quarters of the group were over the age of 50 and the rest were grad students in the drama department. I was feeling kind of nervous that'd we have to write something on the spot (which really isn't my strong point), but instead we just talked about how a plot needs to be developed, how a character functions, etc. The assignment we were given was to come up with a three-page play based on a photograph (the picture shows an artist painting a portrait of a woman, titled "Bela in a Green Dress," but of course if you try to look up the artist on Google all you get is a bunch of Twilight crap), while also using some of Pablo Neruda's poetry in our first and last line. So I guess that's where the "adaptation" part of it came in. After we bounced off some ideas and named the figures in the photograph (Richard and Celeste), we all went home to work on our plays to read the following day.
My creative process was kind of interrupted when I found out a ride I thought I would get to Billings next week fell through, and I spent most of the time trying to make other arrangements. But in a way, I think that sort of helped. When I dived back into thinking about my play, I was able to get some viable ideas. Of course, the obvious route to take with this would be to create some tortured love story between the artist and the model. I sort of went in that direction, but in a more comedic fashion: why doesn't the portrait "talk" to the artist and beat him up about not expressing his love for the model? I immediately had this whole Monty Python sketch in my head (which I think is the mode I get into when writing dialogue for plays). So I wrote it and reworked it until around midnight. The next day, I was pretty pleased with what I wrote, even if the final product did suggest a bit of a caricature. Unfortunately though, I wasn't able to present it during the two hour reading session. We just ran out of time, and I wasn't the only one who couldn't present their play. So that's why I'm posting it here on my blog. Constructive feedback and praise is always welcomed of course, since I didn't get a chance to hear what others thought of it. It's titled Still Life. Enjoy!
Scene 1
LIGHTS slowly come up to reveal RICHARD'S small, dumpy studio apartment in early 1920s New York City. In the center of some scattered books, papers and empty wine bottles sits RICHARD and CELESTE. Next to CELESTE'S poised figure is a large canvas of her nearly completed portrait. RICHARD takes a swig from a half-empty wine bottle before dabbing his brush onto his palette and continuing his painting.
RICHARD: The wine in the bottle prefers to continue yesterday.
CELESTE: Should you really be drinking this early?
RICHARD: I consider it a little pick-me-up in the morning. There! (He waves his paintbrush with a flourish). How do you like it?
CELESTE: Richard, I do hope this isn’t how you spend all the money my father gives you.
RICHARD: Only a small portion. Sometimes I can’t help it when your dad accompanies me to the speakeasy --
CELESTE: I don’t want hear it.
RICHARD: Look, Celeste. (RICHARD stands up and gently turns CELESTE towards her portrait. CELESTE’S mood softens.)
CELESTE: Oh my...
RICHARD: Well?
CELESTE: I adore it, Richard. It’s your best one yet. (CELESTE, beaming, turns to hug RICHARD. RICHARD holds on a little longer.) I can’t wait for Sylvester to see it when he picks me up.
RICHARD: Yes, about Sylvester, I was going to ask you --
CELESTE: (She holds out her left hand to RICHARD, revealing a large diamond ring.) Picking out the dress with mother was a disaster, and the catering people haven’t phoned me back yet, but...oh thank you Richard! Thank you for being the one stable thing in my life right now. I mean, Sylvester’s been a doll, but he spends most of his time at the office. You are coming to the wedding, right?
RICHARD: Well, I’ve been meaning --
CELESTE: Wait one moment! I need to freshen up in the ladies’ room. Sylvester should be here any moment. (EXIT UP RIGHT through door. RICHARD watches CELESTE leave before slamming his easel down in frustration.)
RICHARD: (to CELESTE’S portrait) Is it absolutely impossible for me to be straightforward? I just wish I could tell you...wish you could know that I would do more for you than that-that pretty-boy louse of a husband you’re about to have. Celeste...I love you more than what that ring on your finger tells you. (RICHARD turns his back to the portrait.) And if I have to sit here and pretend that I don’t love you, then-then...I’m just going to die.
PORTRAIT: Oh, is that the best you can do, darling?
RICHARD: Oh, Celeste I –- (RICHARD turns around expecting to see Celeste, but instead sees no one but the portrait.) Oh. Never mind then.
PORTRAIT: The pretty-boy louse of a husband was a nice touch. But you kind of overdid it from there.
RICHARD: (rubbing his eyes) I must be more hung-over than I thought...
PORTRAIT: Don’t talk to me about being hung-over. You can at least escape outside to get away from all these intoxicating paint fumes.
RICHARD: I’m-I’m sorry...I’m not used to having conversations with my artwork.
PORTRAIT: I forgive you. But my God, man! Let it go or say something.
RICHARD: I can’t dump all my feelings on her now. It would wreck her.
PORTRAIT: Not anymore than it’s wrecking you. I have to be the one listening to you in the dead hours of the morning sobbing into a bottle of Jack. It’s pathetic, that’s what it is!
RICHARD: I wouldn’t say “sobbing” –-
PORTRAIT: You’re a bum, Richard. A good-for-nothing bum. You can’t hold a candle to mister pretty-boy, and you know it. I’d say just give up on this bird if I didn’t have a good feeling she’d run away with you. You know, in a romantic, rustic sort of way.
RICHARD: You really think so? You think I should say something?
PORTRAIT: Sing it in a falsetto, I don’t care. Just end these 2 AM moping marathons. (A man with a cheesy grin, SYLVESTER, ENTERS through the door.) Well here comes mister pretty-boy now. Give him an earful bub!
SYLVESTER: (shaking RICHARD’S hand) Hey Richard, how the hell are you? Where’s Celeste?
RICHARD: Uh, she’s in the ladies’ room.
SYLVESTER: Taking a century, I’m sure. That dame sure knows how to keep a man waiting, if you know what I mean. (He suddenly notices the PORTRAIT.) Whoa, get out of town. You painted this? That’s a helluva portrait. I envy the man who marries that bimbo. Which reminds me -- if it wouldn’t be too much trouble –- could you photograph our wedding ceremony? That’d mean a lot.
RICHARD: Oh yes, of course.
PORTRAIT: You blew it, you meathead.
RICHARD: (to the PORTRAIT) Shut up.
SYLVESTER: Excuse me?
RICHARD: Uh, I-I sneezed.
PORTRAIT: Oh yes, just pass me off like I don’t exist. I knew you were never man enough to be straightforward with your problems.
RICHARD: (in a loud whisper) Can it, okay?
SYLVESTER: Uh, who are you talking to?
RICHARD: What? No, I was just –-
SYLVESTER: (chuckling nervously) You might want to cut back on the booze, Rich. I don’t like it when fellas get weird on me. I’m gonna see how Celeste’s doing. (EXIT UP RIGHT.)
RICHARD: (turning viciously towards the PORTRAIT) You wanna make me look like a fool?
PORTRAIT: Oh, that’s not very hard to do. (RICHARD picks up his paintbrush and easel and begins to draw thick black lines over the canvas.) Hey! Cut that out! This is a nice dress! (RICHARD continues to defame the PORTRAIT, fiercely marking up the PORTRAIT’S mouth until it can’t speak. UP RIGHT, SYLVESTER ENTERS.)
SYLVESTER: Well, we’re gonna head out Rich -- (RICHARD, upon seeing SYLVESTER, picks up the PORTRAIT and brings it crashing down over SYLVESTER’S head, knocking him out. A beat. CELESTE, hearing the noise, rushes into the apartment to find SYLVESTER lying unconscious on the ground. She and RICHARD stare down at SYLVESTER then look up at one another. Suddenly, RICHARD takes a knee and grabs CELESTE’S hand.)
RICHARD: Celeste, I love you. It’s been tearing me up inside, and I just...I needed to let it out. I don’t know what I thought would come out of this. Maybe I thought you shared something secretly for me too. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. But what I do know is that I want to be honest with you from now on.
CELESTE: Richard, I can’t even fathom why you’d bring this up now...now when everything is such a mess. And for what? Did you really expect me to run away with you? When I’m not even sure you can hold up the pieces of your own life without alcohol? You may get me right in these portraits, but you have horribly misunderstood me here. (CELESTE rips the portrait off of SYLVESTER’S head. She tosses it to the floor and EXITS. As the door slams, SYLVESTER regains his consciousness.)
SYLVESTER: (looking at the shredded portrait) What a shame. It must’ve been a fine portrait. See you at the wedding? (Getting up, SYLVESTER sticks out his hand towards RICHARD. RICHARD only stares back until SYLVESTER uncomfortably EXITS. After they’ve gone, RICHARD bends over the portrait and tears off a piece of the canvas where CELESTE’S hand was. He stands up and holds it over his heart.)
RICHARD: So I guess this is it. This is as close as your hand will ever get to touching mine.
THE END
Monday, July 12, 2010
Why I Can't Finish Twilight
I coudn't do it folks. I just couldn't finish Twilight. That, and the library I checked it out from would only loan it to me for a week. And really, how do they expect me to finish a 500+ book (one that I don't find terribly engrossing) in a week? So while I prepare to return the book, I decided to jump to Chapter 13, because I've heard this was the first chapter Meyer wrote. This is what I saw, and it can never be unseen:
"He [Edward Cullen] lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep..."
If Smeyer is using the word "incandescent," she better be describing a lightbulb. These few lines look like a thesaurus barfed on the page. Okay, we understand Edward is a sparkly guy when he goes into the sun. But I don't see anything other than Meyer trying to show off her vocabulary skills. An important tool I've learned in my Creative Writing classes is the use of objective correlative, where the writer describes what's exterior to the character as a symbolic device to explain the interior of the character. For instance, in my favorite book "Atonement," the vase the two protagonists break by the fountain symbolizes the sexual tension between them, as well as foreshadows the jarring changes that will tear their lives apart within the day. The vase is the external which describes the characters in a three-dimensional way. And if Meyer utilizes this, please let me know because I've only made it throught the first few chapters.
Although I may bash "Twilight," Stephenie Meyer must be doing something right. There's just some plot points and character development I would've liked to have seen turn out different. So, if I were ever given the chance to re-vamp (pun intended) what I know of the Twilight series, here's what I'd do:
- Make Bella more likeable and less of a whiny smart-ass who moaps all the time. She really needs more independence and less dependence on a guy who can't even guarantee she'll be happy. And her backstory could use some work (does the series ever go into detail about her life back in Arizona?). Maybe she had a close relative who passed away. Hell, make it her mom. As far as I see it, the mom doesn't show up much anyway, nor does she contribute a great deal to the plot. So if Mrs. Swan were to die, Bella would basically be forced to live in Forks with her dad and contemplate the existence of an afterlife (insert afterlife-defying Edward).
- Now that I've established the death of Bella's mom, I think the mom should become a zombie. I realize zombies have taken on a more funny role in pop culture, but this is where Meyer could shine as an author. Hit Bella with two life-changing decisions: to be/not to be a vampire and spend eternity with Edward, and to vanquish/not to vanquish her zombie mom. This plot device might seem faulty, but it could actually develop the characters more.
- Edward Cullen needs to man up more. First of all -- the whole virgin thing. 100+ years of no action? Really? And even if it's for religious reasons that he must not have sex before marriage or otherwise be sent to Hell....well I've got news for you Eddy. Your vampire soul is already damned. So why not sweeten the deal? I'm not saying their should be a whole chapter dedicated to Edward's sexual escapades. Just make his whole 117 years of living more realistic. Plus, it'd give his "loverboy" status more cred.
- The Cullens repeating high school thing needs to change. I just find it hard to believe that's how vampires would rather spend their free time. I understand that this might be an effort to "fit in" with the living world....but hight school? Can't you guys get jobs? Of course, if the Cullens don't go to high school, this might interfere with the original way Bella and Edward meet. But there are other ways their paths could cross. For instance, Edward saves Bella from being run over by a car. Anything works here, really.
- Vampires should not sparkle. I don't care if it's Meyer's own "interpretation." If there is sunlight, Edward should be flaming (pun completely intended).
- Now, I noticed that Meyer sort of took notes from Bram Stoker with the whole "vampire trying to sneak into the heroine's bedroom." But she's trying to make this sound romantic when it's not. It's creepy, and Bella should be disgusted. If that's the path Meyer wants to go in, make Edward a full-out creeper. Let's say he tries to take advantage of Bella, wanting her to become a vampire when she finds the idea undesirable. But when Bella's zombie mom shows up with an army of the undead, Bella is faced with no other choice but to submit to Edward and become a vampire because it's the only why she can stop the zombie apocalypse. Yes....I would read this book.
Don't take offense Stephenie Meyer. Bram Stoker wasn't a great storyteller either, and he was notorious for overusing the word "voluptuous."
"He [Edward Cullen] lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep..."
If Smeyer is using the word "incandescent," she better be describing a lightbulb. These few lines look like a thesaurus barfed on the page. Okay, we understand Edward is a sparkly guy when he goes into the sun. But I don't see anything other than Meyer trying to show off her vocabulary skills. An important tool I've learned in my Creative Writing classes is the use of objective correlative, where the writer describes what's exterior to the character as a symbolic device to explain the interior of the character. For instance, in my favorite book "Atonement," the vase the two protagonists break by the fountain symbolizes the sexual tension between them, as well as foreshadows the jarring changes that will tear their lives apart within the day. The vase is the external which describes the characters in a three-dimensional way. And if Meyer utilizes this, please let me know because I've only made it throught the first few chapters.
Although I may bash "Twilight," Stephenie Meyer must be doing something right. There's just some plot points and character development I would've liked to have seen turn out different. So, if I were ever given the chance to re-vamp (pun intended) what I know of the Twilight series, here's what I'd do:
- Make Bella more likeable and less of a whiny smart-ass who moaps all the time. She really needs more independence and less dependence on a guy who can't even guarantee she'll be happy. And her backstory could use some work (does the series ever go into detail about her life back in Arizona?). Maybe she had a close relative who passed away. Hell, make it her mom. As far as I see it, the mom doesn't show up much anyway, nor does she contribute a great deal to the plot. So if Mrs. Swan were to die, Bella would basically be forced to live in Forks with her dad and contemplate the existence of an afterlife (insert afterlife-defying Edward).
- Now that I've established the death of Bella's mom, I think the mom should become a zombie. I realize zombies have taken on a more funny role in pop culture, but this is where Meyer could shine as an author. Hit Bella with two life-changing decisions: to be/not to be a vampire and spend eternity with Edward, and to vanquish/not to vanquish her zombie mom. This plot device might seem faulty, but it could actually develop the characters more.
- Edward Cullen needs to man up more. First of all -- the whole virgin thing. 100+ years of no action? Really? And even if it's for religious reasons that he must not have sex before marriage or otherwise be sent to Hell....well I've got news for you Eddy. Your vampire soul is already damned. So why not sweeten the deal? I'm not saying their should be a whole chapter dedicated to Edward's sexual escapades. Just make his whole 117 years of living more realistic. Plus, it'd give his "loverboy" status more cred.
- The Cullens repeating high school thing needs to change. I just find it hard to believe that's how vampires would rather spend their free time. I understand that this might be an effort to "fit in" with the living world....but hight school? Can't you guys get jobs? Of course, if the Cullens don't go to high school, this might interfere with the original way Bella and Edward meet. But there are other ways their paths could cross. For instance, Edward saves Bella from being run over by a car. Anything works here, really.
- Vampires should not sparkle. I don't care if it's Meyer's own "interpretation." If there is sunlight, Edward should be flaming (pun completely intended).
- Now, I noticed that Meyer sort of took notes from Bram Stoker with the whole "vampire trying to sneak into the heroine's bedroom." But she's trying to make this sound romantic when it's not. It's creepy, and Bella should be disgusted. If that's the path Meyer wants to go in, make Edward a full-out creeper. Let's say he tries to take advantage of Bella, wanting her to become a vampire when she finds the idea undesirable. But when Bella's zombie mom shows up with an army of the undead, Bella is faced with no other choice but to submit to Edward and become a vampire because it's the only why she can stop the zombie apocalypse. Yes....I would read this book.
Don't take offense Stephenie Meyer. Bram Stoker wasn't a great storyteller either, and he was notorious for overusing the word "voluptuous."
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Jessica Blogs About Twilight and Says Some Excrutiatingly Beautiful Things
Yesterday, I did the unthinkable. Yesterday, I went to my campus library and checked out Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight," the vampire saga phenomena that I've never been able to comprehend. The only thing reassuring me as I sheepishly went to the front desk to check it out was that I was not spending fifteen-some dollars on something I was certain was terrible literature. So why did I bother to check it out when I knew it would be a frustrating read? For the same reason I've watched Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" (the Ed Wood of our times) on multiple occasions. There's something about flawed works of art that's laughable while creating a higher sense of awareness of what NOT to commit in your own artistic endeavors. It's like exercising one's inner-critic, which I think is very important when struggling through revisions.
I am not a closet Twilight fan, as some might perceive. I might consider myself a closet Lady Gaga fan, but whatever mystical power Twilight might have over millions of preteen girls (and some moms) just doesn't grab me. The characters and plot line of Twilight seem completely illogical -- as many have told me. So I'm reading "Twilight" in a way to confirm those rumors and to find myself thinking "I can totally write something better than this sub-par vampire/romance crap."
First of all, apologies to any of my Twilight loving friends who might read this. Just as you have your own opinions about this franchise, so do I. And I don't expect to change your minds.
But knowing that Miss Meyer was an English major, frankly, embarrasses me and my area of study. The thing I initially noticed in the first chapter of "Twilight" was the way it read. It had no rhythm, no variation in sentence length, and most of the sentences began with "I." It was a bit like reading a 9th grader's fan-fiction. There wasn't much character development in the beginning, but I thought perhaps Meyer won't dig too much into that until Bella has settled down into the backwoods town of Forks.
Okay, after reading four chapters in, this is my summary so far of Bella Swan: pale, almost translucent skin, slender but not athletic, clumsy, quiet, gets annoyed easily, and seems to KNOW EVERYTHING. Like, school shouldn't be a bother for this one, because she's already done most of the assignments Forks High has to offer.The first time this happens is when Bella is handed the reading list in her English class:
"I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already read everything" (15).
This minor detail might not seem so ludicrous if it wasn't mentioned at least TWO MORE TIMES. For example:
"We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. It was straightforward, very easy" (38).
"I was showing off, just a little. I'd already done this lab, and I knew what I was looking for. It should be easy" (45).
Is it just me, or does it seem like the Washington education system is way behind Arizona? The book does mention that Bella was in the advanced program at her school back home, but still. Come on. The only thing she seems to be completely incompetent at is Gym, and that's like the easiest class to pass as long as you dress out and play kickball. Sure, she's clumsy, but most of the one-dimensional characters find her clumsiness endearing. In Bella's group of new friends, we have Mike and Eric, which to me are basically one person pining for Bella's attention. And chatty Jessica just puts my name to shame. What, that's it? Bella's "friends" just drift into the background, yet Meyer continues to bring them up. If they're not that vital to the plot (I'm going with the assumption that the Cullens and Hales are the VIPs), why even friggin mention them?
And of course we have the ever mysterious Edward Cullen. Honestly, I don't see how his super-duper good looks stand out among his other model-esque siblings. Other than his "unearthly beauty," Edward is pretty much a jerk. Sure, Bella is hurt and frustrated that she can't understand why Edward has taken a strong disliking to her for no apparent reason, but she dwells on it WAY TOO MUCH. Her obsessive attitude reaches a new level though when Edward saves her from a truck barrelling towards her in the icy school parking lot. Bella claims Edward was too far away to run to her side and save her. Edward claims he was right beside her the entire time and that Bella's probably suffered a minor concussion. If I were Bella, I'd probably agree that I bumped my head and am probably not thinking clearly. But that isn't what Bella does. She obsesses and argues, nearly breaking down and crying over it. This somehow puts there non-friendship on the rocks, and the two dingbats spend the next chapter ignoring each other.
But they make it up when Edward asks to go with Bella to Seattle, an excuse she's concocted to easily "let down" all the males in the school trying to ask her to the dance. Smooth move, Edward. As Bella begins warming up to Eddy, Meyer's use of adverbs becomes ridiculous:
"His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering" (84). (In Creative Writing, I was always taught to try and avoid adverbs to describe something. Using them every once in a while isn't a huge crime, but Meyer seems very dependent on them).
"I wasn't interesting. And he was. Interesting...and brilliant...and mysterious...and perfect...and beautiful...and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand" (79). (This last sentence, even in context, is hilarious. And a good thing to note. [Beautiful][Perfect] ≠ Interesting. But I wouldn't expect Bella to understand that since Math isn't her strong point.)
"But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me -- his face was absurdly handsome -- with piercing, hate-filled eyes" (27). (I think Meyer should just say 'he was ridiculously good-looking' and get it over with).
That's all I'll leave you with for now. I'm going to try and get through the rest, but honestly, I'm not sure. I don't really like Bella, and I don't really like Edward. And that can be bad when those are the author's two main protagonists. If I do continue on, I'll share my misery.
I am not a closet Twilight fan, as some might perceive. I might consider myself a closet Lady Gaga fan, but whatever mystical power Twilight might have over millions of preteen girls (and some moms) just doesn't grab me. The characters and plot line of Twilight seem completely illogical -- as many have told me. So I'm reading "Twilight" in a way to confirm those rumors and to find myself thinking "I can totally write something better than this sub-par vampire/romance crap."
First of all, apologies to any of my Twilight loving friends who might read this. Just as you have your own opinions about this franchise, so do I. And I don't expect to change your minds.
But knowing that Miss Meyer was an English major, frankly, embarrasses me and my area of study. The thing I initially noticed in the first chapter of "Twilight" was the way it read. It had no rhythm, no variation in sentence length, and most of the sentences began with "I." It was a bit like reading a 9th grader's fan-fiction. There wasn't much character development in the beginning, but I thought perhaps Meyer won't dig too much into that until Bella has settled down into the backwoods town of Forks.
Okay, after reading four chapters in, this is my summary so far of Bella Swan: pale, almost translucent skin, slender but not athletic, clumsy, quiet, gets annoyed easily, and seems to KNOW EVERYTHING. Like, school shouldn't be a bother for this one, because she's already done most of the assignments Forks High has to offer.The first time this happens is when Bella is handed the reading list in her English class:
"I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already read everything" (15).
This minor detail might not seem so ludicrous if it wasn't mentioned at least TWO MORE TIMES. For example:
"We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. It was straightforward, very easy" (38).
"I was showing off, just a little. I'd already done this lab, and I knew what I was looking for. It should be easy" (45).
Is it just me, or does it seem like the Washington education system is way behind Arizona? The book does mention that Bella was in the advanced program at her school back home, but still. Come on. The only thing she seems to be completely incompetent at is Gym, and that's like the easiest class to pass as long as you dress out and play kickball. Sure, she's clumsy, but most of the one-dimensional characters find her clumsiness endearing. In Bella's group of new friends, we have Mike and Eric, which to me are basically one person pining for Bella's attention. And chatty Jessica just puts my name to shame. What, that's it? Bella's "friends" just drift into the background, yet Meyer continues to bring them up. If they're not that vital to the plot (I'm going with the assumption that the Cullens and Hales are the VIPs), why even friggin mention them?
And of course we have the ever mysterious Edward Cullen. Honestly, I don't see how his super-duper good looks stand out among his other model-esque siblings. Other than his "unearthly beauty," Edward is pretty much a jerk. Sure, Bella is hurt and frustrated that she can't understand why Edward has taken a strong disliking to her for no apparent reason, but she dwells on it WAY TOO MUCH. Her obsessive attitude reaches a new level though when Edward saves her from a truck barrelling towards her in the icy school parking lot. Bella claims Edward was too far away to run to her side and save her. Edward claims he was right beside her the entire time and that Bella's probably suffered a minor concussion. If I were Bella, I'd probably agree that I bumped my head and am probably not thinking clearly. But that isn't what Bella does. She obsesses and argues, nearly breaking down and crying over it. This somehow puts there non-friendship on the rocks, and the two dingbats spend the next chapter ignoring each other.
But they make it up when Edward asks to go with Bella to Seattle, an excuse she's concocted to easily "let down" all the males in the school trying to ask her to the dance. Smooth move, Edward. As Bella begins warming up to Eddy, Meyer's use of adverbs becomes ridiculous:
"His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering" (84). (In Creative Writing, I was always taught to try and avoid adverbs to describe something. Using them every once in a while isn't a huge crime, but Meyer seems very dependent on them).
"I wasn't interesting. And he was. Interesting...and brilliant...and mysterious...and perfect...and beautiful...and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand" (79). (This last sentence, even in context, is hilarious. And a good thing to note. [Beautiful][Perfect] ≠ Interesting. But I wouldn't expect Bella to understand that since Math isn't her strong point.)
"But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me -- his face was absurdly handsome -- with piercing, hate-filled eyes" (27). (I think Meyer should just say 'he was ridiculously good-looking' and get it over with).
That's all I'll leave you with for now. I'm going to try and get through the rest, but honestly, I'm not sure. I don't really like Bella, and I don't really like Edward. And that can be bad when those are the author's two main protagonists. If I do continue on, I'll share my misery.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Italian Cooking on the Fourth of July: What Could Be More American?
That's right bitches. I made pasta on the Fourth of July. While everyone else was huddled around the BBQ preparing for the inevitable food coma that would follow blowing up cheap fireworks, I was cooking up Italian. To make this image even more provocative, I was cooking Italian with a British flag hanging on the wall behind me. Consider your mind blown (which is as close as I can get to setting off fireworks). Don't get me wrong -- grilling was definitely a possibility with the addition of the George Foreman Grill to the apartment kitchen. But why not pasta? Isn't America just one giant melting pot of culture and food? Lots and lots of food we stole from other countries and somehow managed to jack up the calorie and fat content?
Plus, pasta was just more feasible. I had most of the ingredients in the cupboard anyway, and living on a penniless student budget, you have to make the most of what you have. The dish I served is called "Pasta Puttanesca," which in Italian translates to "the whore's pasta," mostly because of its cheap ingredients. As a side dish, I also made up some Bruschetta -- slightly broiled French bread with olive oil, garlic, and a tomato/basil mixture on top. Kyndra Gilvarry and Zack Quiroz were the lucky recipients of my meal. While I consider my cooking an accomplishment, I thought I'd go into a visual recount of my messy journey in the kitchen.
First of all, I started my Bruschetta, which was probably the easiest but I accidentally overcooked it just a bit. After preheating my oven to 500 degrees, I sliced up my French bread, sprinkled it with garlic salt, then added a slice of tomato with some chopped basil. Since Zack hates tomatoes (but I love them), I only put tomatoes on half. Then I drizzled olive oil over each slice and put it in the oven for 3 minutes. By the end of the time, I wanted them more brown, so I put them in for an extra four minutes. That turned out to be too much, and sadly the smaller pieces turned rather charred. But otherwise, the taste factor was scrumdeliumptious.
Next, I started my pasta. Everything was running smoothly -- water was steadily coming to a boil as I chopped up the ingredients for my sauce. Once I got the pasta cooking, made my sauce, then drained my pasta, I committed one fatal mistake. I often fail at multi-tasking, and this was one occasion. When I took the pasta off the stove, I forgot to turn it off. And while my sauce was simmering, I left the plastic spatula leaning on the side -- the handle lying down on the still very hot stove top. I went to grab the spatula and...well...you get the picture. Spatula went soaring into the air, landing on the kitchen floor with a black streak and slew of curse words. I went running to the sink and quickly ran cold water over my throbbing pinky finger.
Luckily, those were the only mishaps I endured. Otherwise I chopped my basil without slicing my thumb (and I have to say, basil has the most wonderfully herb-y scent to it)...
...managed to get my sauce to the proper consistency (note the spatula on the correct side of the stove top now)...
...and create a beautiful color to my pasta. My only downfall was that the Angel Hair pasta did tend to clump when sitting for a while.
Below I have included the recipe for Pasta Puttanesca in case any curious readers are interested in trying it themselves:
8 oz. uncooked Angel Hair spaghetti
1 tbls. olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes, undrained
1/2 cup chopped olives (I left this ingredient out merely because I didn't have it. The dish works well with or without it)
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 tbls. capers
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 cup grated Romano cheese (Parmesan cheese works well here too)
1/4 cup sliced fresh basil (optional, but it gives it some nice color)
And for dessert, Zack baked up some brownies (so at least we had some essential American cuisine in our three course meal).
For anyone interested in the brownie recipe, leave a comment below :)HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA. And too bad you had to spend it with some yucky oil washing up on your shores.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
An Introduction With Some Bite
I feel like I lead a boring life. And as a writer, that can be hard on inspiration. So I've decided to put together this blog for my random musings (in the hopes to squeeze those creative juices out of my brain) and possibly slight exaggerations when the day proves fruitless in producing anything "tantalizing." Hence the "silliness." And while Missoula (Griz Country) has more of a beating pulse than my hometown/retirement community Carlsbad, I still feel as though I'm in a funk. Nothing seems to excite me anymore. So we'll see how this Internet thing goes. I might include a movie review here and there, my journey through cooking in an apartment kitchen, and possibly a few entries on whatever I happen to be reading at the time (I'm in search for a good book, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!).
One of the projects I had completed at the end of the school year was a short script adaptation of a scene from Bram Stoker's Dracula for my Gothic Literature and Film class. Although freckled with flaws, I was damn proud of my first attempt at using the program Celtx and writing a screenplay. I also drew a storyboard. It was put together quickly, but I still have some stellar moments in some of my frames (a killer wolf howling into the night sky, an extreme close-up of Dracula's mouth stretching open to reveal his pointy fangs....). I had taken some pictures of my storyboard before turning it in and had been meaning to post it on Facebook. Since I have quite a few pictures, I decided to put them in a slide-show. Enjoy my art!
I also wrote up a commentary on my inspiration. Not necessary to read, but it's there. Kind of like Twilight:
Bram Stoker’s Dracula, although a timeless classic, becomes problematic when adapting it to the silver screen. Stoker’s conception is fascinating and chilling, yet his execution could be described as a bit clunky. One of the issues I encountered while reading the novel was the lack of development of the title character. Count Dracula starts out as a concrete character, one whose mysterious background and frighteningly diabolical plans establish the plot’s suspense in the isolated Carpathian Mountains. Yet Dracula’s character development seems to drop off once he makes Jonathan Harker a prisoner and then sets off to terrorize England. From there on out, the rest of the story finds a voice through the scribbling journal entries of Lucy, Mina, Dr. Seward, and the rest of the gang while Dracula disappears into the background where his presence emerges mostly through the conversations of others. While designating Dracula as the novel’s faceless terror might contribute more to the suspense, I felt Dracula’s character would benefit more (and particularly on film) if audiences were to see him transform into more of a monster upon arriving in England.
I decided to adapt the scene where Dracula attacks Lucy, but instead of taking it from Mina’s perspective, I chose to expand it and show Lucy’s encounter with Dracula during one of her sleepwalking ventures. Initially, I thought about exploring the tortured soul of Dracula—a creature condemned by his damnable fate who can never love without causing physical harm. But then I realized how that route has been poorly abused (such as in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series). The most appropriate action would be to develop Dracula’s evil nature and make it comparable to the threatening presence of serial killers.
In my scene, I illustrate Dracula escorting Lucy back to her home after rescuing her from walking off the boardwalk into the bay. This seemed like the best place for them to meet, as the novel explains that Dracula, in wolf form, escapes the wreckage of a ship. We see Dracula about to attack Lucy, but upon noticing a galleon moving into the docks, he instead pulls Lucy to safety—he saves her so he can use her later. Lucy’s skeptical of Dracula at first, but she relents to his charming nature after he introduces himself as Prince (I took the name “Prince Orlock” in homage to F.W. Murnau’s “Nosferatu, a Symphony of Terror”). As they continue their journey, I have Dracula tell a brief tale about his overbearing mother to Lucy. I chose to do this because of two things. One, it brings in the thematic and vampiric idea of “leeching,” and two, it creates a transition for when Dracula threatens Lucy not to tell anyone she has seen him or else he will come after her mother. It also produces the most tension in the scene because Lucy suddenly realizes that Dracula has the potential to harm her. The innocent heroin/evil oppressor dichotomy also serves to add a Gothic layer to the scene.
I finished the scene with Mina’s interruption. Although she sees Dracula, she is unable to recognize his features just as in the novel. If I were to further develop this script, I would continue to develop Dracula’s character through careful pacing. His character would be similar to that of Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs; he has a dominant presence, yet he doesn’t dominate every scene. The most terrifying aspect of Dracula to me is the pleasure he gets out of his horrible deeds. And by getting this across on paper, and film, Dracula can be more widely accepted as a terrible villain by audiences.
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